Social Media and Blogs: The Need to Be Seen, Heard, and Acknowledged

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I confess: I am needy.  Today I ask myself: Why Facebook? Why WordPress? Why do I incessantly take pictures of my kids? I am needy. Now, I’m not needy in a way that my friends notice and I am not obnoxious with selfies (okay, so I’ve taken a few), but I do think there’s a part of me seeking to be validated. Otherwise, why would I feel the need to post on Facebook those pictures of me with my best friends out for one of our birthdays? Why would I need to post the pictures of my kids when I feel I’ve caught them in an adorably memorable moment? Why do I need to share that I’ve been on vacation? Hey, look at me! Look what I’m doing!! Why? A friend of mine just deleted her Facebook account. The rest of the girls at the dinner party were snapping photos and instantly posted them to FB. We said to her, “Hey, we can’t tag you for some reason.” She told us she was no longer on Facebook. Her husband said, “You know, you gotta post those because it didn’t happen if it isn’t on Facebook.” I thought that was such a profound point. He is not needy like me. He doesn’t need the validation that – hey I live a good life, like I do.

Now for the other side of it, I have Facebook to keep in touch with my friends and to connect with new friends and groups. I like it. I really do. I think Facebook is great. I like seeing what my friends are up to. The ones that post that they’ve just completed a marathon inspire me to exercise. The ones that are battling cancer move me as well and fill me with humility and gratitude. I like seeing pictures of my friends and their kids. I just need to taper down posts and how much I look at Facebook. I have kids and I stay home. I have time to get on Facebook, but it’s not good use of my time. Now, when I look at Facebook and see all those pictures that I’ve posted, I don’t think awe, so cute, look at us. I think – that was a moment that I could have been more present for instead of having to post it.

I will still use Facebook, but less. It’s like grandma’s cakes and cookies, you can have a slice or a cookie, but binging on them is just gross and there are better, healthier things to eat that will benefit you more in the long run.

Now for the blog, I like to write. I have a B.A. in journalism and I like to write in small chunks. I like writing articles. I would like to write a novel, but I’m not ready yet as I haven’t had the right inspiration or an original enough an idea to start. Blogging is my way of getting my “articles” out, since I don’t have a job as a well-paid writer, which would be my dream job. My job is stay at home mom.

So, I have justified my Facebook account and my blog, but I haven’t justified my neediness. I need to be less needy. I don’t need to check my stats to see if someone out there has read my blog and I don’t need to check my Facebook post to see if I have likes. I can have a wonderful experience on vacation or out with my family and friends without sharing it with all my “friends.” It still happened. It doesn’t need to be on Facebook to prove it did.